How to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

One day i was bored, so i decided to make this post. I present to you,

HOW TO SURVIVE THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE

First, we gotta know what we're up against. Zombies today are commonly referred to as a former human whom as gone under some sort of disease or virus and transformed into a homicidal cannibal monster, being dead is sometimes not always the case like in Resident Evil. Zombies are dead. End of story. If it isn't dead then it isn't a zombie. There is no cure for it, there will be no cure for it. Once you are infected, game over for you. So it's important to know what your up against!

Most important of all, is the fact that zombie virus's make the zombie's brain completely independant, but able to utilize, the other parts of the body. This means that a zombie does not feel pain, cannot feel emotions or think from the nervous system, does not breath, does not eat, does not take shits or have sudden sex urges. This means, the brain must be destroyed in order to kill the zombie.

You may see a lot of memes or pictures of a persons large stack of weapons, following a caption saying "This person is ready for the Zombie Apocalypse". This is false. Gathering arms is only a step in the procedure to be ready. What about food, ammo, shelter, water? The people who think that all they need are a pile of guns and to go Rambo in a horde will be the first people to get eaten.

First you must know when to prepare. Listen to the media often, like the news, the internet or the radio, and listen for stories going along the lines of murder cases where the victim was killed via the head, either decapitation or bullet wound, or something about a "crazy person" attacking another person and trying to bite them. The Media will most likely be told by the Government to hush these up, so don't expect to many details. Don't expect any details. All it may be is "Well tonight we have a murder case of (Soandso) having been killed by a gunshot wound to the head. And now, to our next story..."
Next, depending on where you live and the type of outbreak we're talking about, you may want to ask yourself if you want to stay and defend your home or leave it and find a new shelter.

DEFENDING:

If the outbreak is serious enough to dictate a home defense, the following procedures will assist you from defending your home against the undead.

FOR A 1 STORY HOUSE:

1 story houses are commonly found in suburban areas, but also sometimes found in rural areas. Nevertheless, the steps remain the same.

-Stock up on food, water and weapons before the outbreak. Make sure you know how to use your weapons. Eventually it may be to dangerous to go to the store. While attack against the dead is a danger, attacks by the living is also highly plausible. Terrified, panicked people running about, stampeding, rioting and even killing just for that last box of Top-Ramen. Do it before so you don't have this unnecessary danger.

-Reinforce entryways (optional). This may hold up to a minor or moderately large outbreak, but not against a full-scale invasion, keep in mind. Use plywood and/or aluminum sheets to cover doors and windows.

-If all else fails, take to the Attic or the roof. I do not recommend the basement, it is easy to get cornered and difficult to get out. On the other hand, going to the attic gives you an almost 100% of survival against the undead. If you destroy the stairs to the attic or roof, this probability becomes a certainty. However, watch your food storages, they wont last forever. This tactic only works against small outbreaks.

-Be SILENT. Do not turn on lights. Only play audio devices with headphones or earbuds. Do not use appliances or any sort of machine. Never use a cellphone or phone, but if someone calls you, you are free to answer it, but quietly. The goal is to pretend as if the house was empty.

FOR A 2 OR MORE STORY HOUSE:

-Again, stock up on food, water and weapons. One good tactic is to turn on the water in the bathtub and sink, because you never know when the water lines will go out. This also works for a 1 story house, but slightly more risky.

-Climb to the highest floor in your house and remove all entryways; stairs, elevators, regardless.

-Follow the steps for being silent.

-Forced entry noises may be the only warning to detecting an intruder, zombie or otherwise.