Storywriting/Ect.

This is the story I've been working on. I started it at first, then decided to scrap it and start over. I'm not done yet but here's the Prologue to Part 5.
Feel free to rate it, point out any mistakes/problems, or just comment on it.







Prologue – Orbital Landing


“All right, soldiers,” the captain piped up in the orbital landing dropship, “You know the drill. Now let’s put that into action.” Though there were few windows in the bay of the dropship, there were enough to see the anti-orbital fire and explosions outside. For those who couldn’t see the explosions, they could definitely feel the craft rocking to the anti-dropship shells detonating outside. In what felt like hours, the pilot finally fizzed up the old ‘bay-to-controls stereos’; “Ready up, boys. We’re in for some heat!” Right after that sentence ended, some freak force rocket the dropship back and forth heavily. Any rookies who stood up were knocked back in their seats instantly. The craft began to slow its decent, indicating that we’re landing. Everyone got up, crouched by the doorway…then…



Part 1 – Under Fire


Within moments of that bay door opening, we were greeted with heavy flak and machine gun fire. I ducked behind a sand dune and took a glance at the next dropship. The bay doors opened up, and as it opened up halfway, an object with smoke trailing from it shot out from nowhere and entered the fuselage of the dropship. The soldiers inside couldn’t even cry out as the entire dropship detonated, the bay doors blown open by the blast. There was really nothing to see other than the flaming hull and the assorted body parts you could see here and there. I decided not to stick to this sand dune for the entire battle and poked my head over. There were tracer rounds all over the place, along with the smoke from the high-velocity rounds shot from sniper rifles. None of them seems to be concentrated on my dune anyways. I slid out a little more and took a look through my scope at a distant MG nest. One, two, three, four soldiers in there, this is easy prey. I took them down with four easy shots and advanced on the now-unmanned MG nest. There, I found a mortar tucked behind it, just out of sight. Lucky me, I guess. I swiveled the mortar towards another MG nest, then fired off a few rounds. A few hit some enemy soldiers, as I could see ragged corpses tossed into the air, but most missed their mark completely. At least I disabled another nest, I thought. Time to press on; I’m dead if the enemy finds me here.



Part 2 – Hiding Out


Whatever was left of the initial assault force dropped from orbit now amassed towards our next destination; Horus. From what I can see up in the half-bombed house I’m in, there were three tanks advancing on the medium-sized city; all friends. Good news, since the defenders in here is one hard nut to crack. They’ve bunkered down hard, with several artillery placements in the streets, blocked from air support due to the narrow streets, and several anti-aircraft flak guns on the rooftops, blowing out any gunship that dared to venture too close. Those ships in orbit have already given support fire, but what a fat load of help that was. The rounds almost always hit office buildings or housing, rarely hitting something actually worth blowing up. Talk about lousy shooting. I quickly drifted away from my thoughts as voices came from the floor beneath mine. Those were hostiles; at least they don’t know I’m up here. As the first hostile came up, I introduced him to the stock of my rifle, sending him tumbling back down the stairs. While his buddies were yelling about, I tossed a grenade down the stairs. The yelling turned to screaming as the grenade blew up. That’s a few less hostiles to worry about, I mused.



Part 3 – Survivor’s Break.


The day is over. Finally, whoever’s still alive can take a break. It’s nighttime and Horus is ours. The losses were gruesome on both sides but we had the advantage. I found a nice spot for a camp and lit a fire. Within an hour an entire squad’s worth of soldiers were curled up besides me. This is a desert planet, after all; boiling hot in the daytime, but it might as well be an arctic planet at night. Except this planet isn’t filled with snow; it’s overloaded with sand. After some short introductions, I found out one guy, Sergeant Charles, was a tank operator. His vehicle was jammed by the sand dunes so he and his crew had to abandon it. Another was Corporal Julie, a combat medic. She managed to escape her dropship before another projectile blew up the craft. The third man was Private 1st Class Bill, an explosives expert. First day and the nut has already wasted five of his Napalm packages. Then comes our last person, the infamous “Blademaster” Corporal Steven. When he runs out of ammo he’d just discard his gun and whop out his two combat knifes and go off on a slaughter spree. I don’t know who’s more crazy, Steven or Bill. Oh, and there’s me, Lieutenant Cody. I’ve always hated being the commanding officer and here I have is a small squadron. Joy, oh joy, I guess I should just man up and deal with it.



Part 4 – Breakfast and Bullets.


Wow, what a night. Charles snores like a rhino and Bill besides me wouldn’t stop fidgeting with whatever he’s playing around with. Overall I could hardly sleep five hour’s worth. As I zipped open my pack to get my rations, the zipper wasn’t the only thing that made a sound. I leaned back, just a bit, and this bullet whizzed right in front of my face that sent all five of us faces-first down on the cold, hard ground. Snipers are a pain, especially when you’re trying to eat your breakfast. Charles offered support fire while I found the sniper’s HVR trail and easily located his helmet sticking out from the opposite building’s second floor. Then next time he poked his head out, I sent a bullet through his head just like what he tried to do to me. We then all resumed to eating our breakfast; hard biscuits and sausage. Once that was over, we coincidentally found an abandoned All-Personnel Carrier and luckily Charles said that the controls were similar to those of a tank’s; in other words, we got ourselves a ride. For the rest of the day, we navigated through the narrow streets of Downtown Horus in order to arrive at the location where anyone still alive would assemble. There, we’d wait for a few days until they could drop reinforcements and supplies to aid us. I just hope the supplies were something new; hard biscuits are not something to enjoy, though the sausages weren’t half bad.



Part 5 – Sandstorm Blitz


Even with the helmet on, you couldn’t see five feet into the sandstorm until you walk right into someone or something. Thankfully, the helmets have built-in motion sensors, night vision, heat vision, and a heartbeat detector. At this moment, every single one was useless except the heartbeat detector. So much for technology, I thought, it’s positively useless against nature. I ducked behind a piece of wreckage-at this moment I didn’t care what it was-and decided to try the communication lines again. Nope, still nothing, it seems like the sandstorm’s jamming every signal from here to lord knows where. I’m hungry, I’m tired, but if I take my helmet off my head would probably be sanded to the bones by the forces outside of my suit. I’d rather wait until this ridiculous op was over. That’s when I saw the three red dots pulsing on my heartbeat sensor. Approaching my location fast, I hope they don’t know where I am. My luck paid off, the three zoomed by me. Though the sandstorm is loud, I could faintly hear the revving of their hoverbikes. Must be special edition ones that keeps the sand out of the engines, I muttered to nobody. I got up again and moved along, pressing forwards. I was supposed to meet up with Private Bill, Corporal Steven, and some other guy. After trudging for who knows how long, lost in my thoughts again, I walked face-first into a hard concrete wall. Though a bit worn out by the sand, you could tell it was still fairly new. I decided to continue along the wall to my right and there I saw a door. It was shut and it wasn’t the one I was looking for, though, and so I kept trudging along. After going all the way around the building (Or so it seemed), I finally found the correct entrance. There, the three were already waiting for me, playing a game of cards. CARDS, are you kidding me, did it actually take that long? Well, at least they had their fun, because the next half day was going to be twelve hours of playing cat and mouse.